Wednesday, April 28, 2010


Night Flower,

First, I just killed a spider and now I have those creepy crawly chills! It was headed straight for my dog. Despite that, she’s not very happy with me since she likes to collect spiders as friends. I still remember her first BFF. I’d just gotten into bed when she came in and jumped up on my legs and put something on the blanket. I almost ignored it but forced myself to check, and there on my back was a huge huntsman spider! It was all curled up, pretending to be dead. I stealthily slid free from my blankets and ran screaming from my room. That was the first of many sacrificial spiders that she offered me.

But anyways, back to my original point. I’m guessing from your constant negative use of the word ‘contrived’ that you don’t actually know what it means. So I’m here to help.

Here is my definition:



Nimble (you know who I’m talking about)



I’ve been side tracked




So you see, Night Flower, it’s actually a good thing. Your book is so contrived.



The best love affairs are those we never had.... ~Norman Lindsay

Dear Poppy,

Alas, Snape is just like any other man. Evidently, our love was one sided on my part. He has not come to see me since our tryst the other night. Probably better this way. I won't pretend I am not heart broken.


So…. I am attempting to finish this chapter before I go to sleep and I am being my worst enemy. Do you remember when I would just write? The words flowed fast and furious from my fingertips without a thought of, is that contrived? That frickin’ word is haunting me.

Contrived. Rather like this blog but I did promise to write and here it is. Hope you have gotten over the disappointment of your sis not dating Taylor.

Love ya bunches
Snape’s Ex (the bastard)

Monday, April 26, 2010

Sweet Dreams

Snape’s Girl,

Following your vein of blasphemous dreams...

I was walking through the shopping centre with my sister and looked over at her formerly red-haired, pale-skinned boyfriend to find that he’d morphed into Taylor Lautner. For the remainder of the dream I couldn’t stop gushing about how lucky she was to have such a handsome boyfriend. I said, and I quote, “To think all it took was brown hair and a tan!”

And then I woke up... he still has red hair and pale skin. We have no immediate plans to go to the shopping centre to show him off.



Once Upon a Dream...

Good day Poppy,

I did not want to wake up this morning. Now before I tell you why, I need for you to hold up your right hand and place it on any handy volume of Harry Potter that you have close by. Yes, I will wait until you get the book…

*Hums Hedwig’s theme while waits*

OK, place your hand on the book, and repeat, “I solemnly swear not to laugh at Night Flowers revelation.”

Just do it.

Last night I dreamt-*hides face*-I was dating Professor Snape and he was completely lovely. Like the kind of lovely that fan girls, if they knew this side of him, would form a Team Severus over.

I won't go into details about the dream because really, how much mortification am I willing to subject myself too? Suffice it to say, there is a side of Severus that those of us who worship Harry Potter have not been privy too prior to my dream. As you know, I am fiercely protective of the ones I love so I shall keep Severus and his many talents outside of potion making, private.

Love ya bunches,
Snape’s girl

P.S. He wore stripped jammy bottoms. Awww, right?